I’ll be the first to admit that my life feels hard sometimes.
On the surface, it shouldn’t feel hard and many would think I’m *lucky* to lead the life I lead. I like to think it’s not luck but design, but that’s another story.
Anyway, it’s not so much whether it is or it’s not hard. The problem is whether it feels like it’s hard. Because when it does, you are likely to feel like you need a reward all the time. And that could be a problem.
And as women and mums who juggle work, houses, kids, clubs and a million things to remember, it definitely feels hard. The overwhelm, the brain fog, the repetition of asking your child to put on shoes for the millionth time. And that’s just the day to day stuff:. Before you throw in the big stuff: family issues, illness, building conversions, job issues, whatever.
It is hard. You might think that it shouldn’t be this hard but reality is, for many of us, it is.
So you get to 9pm, the kids are finally asleep, the house is more or less tidy and you can relax after a hard day and of course you feel like you deserve a reward, deserve a treat. Chocolate, wine, whatever your crutch is.
And herein is the problem. Because at this point your motivation is at the lowest point (you’ve used it all throughout the day), your feeling of “I deserve is” at its highest and it’s gonna take the strongest will in the world to resist that crutch. And of course this is a problem for anyone who is trying to break old habits or lose weight.
So of course, the answer is to avoid getting there in the first place.
I’ve got some suggestions and they fall under 2 camps:
- Make life easier.
- Trick you mind to thinking life is less hard.
Make life easier.
This can be in lots of different ways but essentially it’s all about being more organised.
- Systemising. People take the piss about my need for order and straight lines but that’s probably because I’ve spent a fair bit of time doing business processing. Get organised so that the kids ballet / swim / rugby / stuff is always in one place in its specific box / bag. This way you know you’re always ready to just grab and go.
- Batch processing. Make all your admin phone calls in one go. Pay all your bills in one sitting. Cook in batches (I buy double packets of meats and if I’m making sauces / stews I’ll make at least twice the amount I need for a family meal and freeze the rest!)
- Do less. I think this might become a thing in the Twenty-Twenties. If the Noughties were about excess, then I think doing less and being more mindful is the next trend. So start by practising saying No. No child, we can’t do any more clubs. No child, no play day this week. No boss, I can’t bring that deadline forward.
- Outsource stuff. Whether it’s the cleaning, the ironing or deciding what to eat. If it gives you no joy, and you can afford to get rid of it, OUTSOURCE it…
Trick your mind to thinking it’s less hard.
So the trick here is to reframe the thing you HAVE to do and turn it into the thing you GET to do. Here’s some examples:
- “I HAVE to bathe the children” to “I GET to bath the children.” There’s tonnes of mums who miss out on this. We ought to feel grateful we get to spend this time with them. And actually if you forget the million other things you still need to do and focus on being present in the moment, it’s actually good fun. And they’ll be having showers before long and you’ll miss this routine.
- “I HAVE to cook a meal” to “My body deserves a healthy wholesome meal.”
- “I HAVE to go training” to “This one hour session is important for my health, my strength, my mental well being. I’m worth it”
And so on. What’s the things that you HAVE to do?
That’s my tops tips. Try implementing a couple of these and see if you can make your life feel easier.