I don’t mean sea views and rock pools.

I mean coasting, as in not really going anywhere.

It’s been exactly one year since my car accident and resultant whiplash.

Flash back to before the accident: everything was going swimmingly. I’d just got a PB in my opening indoor competition. A growing business. New products and ideas. Lots of energy and enthusiasm.

I lost alot that on Thursday February 14 when some dopey woman rear-ended me.

And I’d never have expected that one year later I still have neck pain and I’m still am not back to myself. It’s just so frustrating.

But as I write this year in review, I have to realise that part of the problem was that I let the accident be an excuse for accepting below-par inputs.

Health

My health worsened in 2019. Initially this was driven my poor sleep due to the neck injury. But the reality is that I’ve let myself fall out of some great habits like:

  • Going to bed early
  • Having a good breakfast
  • Preparing meals / meal planning

Mindset

I have got myself bogged down into this “I have no time / I have too much to do” mindset… It pervades every aspect of my life. Proper breakfasts. Proper food. Being present with my children. Enjoying things like coffees with friends, dog walks with Jessie.

And it’s self-defeating. I have sooooo much to do that it’s not worth getting up an hour early to work as I’ll barely scratch the surface… So I don’t, at least not quite regularly enough.

And yet I have developed a painful Facebook / Instagram / Email habit where I’m seemingly always scrolling and refreshing looking for some answer. And effectively escaping. Escaping what? The pain? The overwhelm of the stuff to do? And who’s making me do this stuff anyway? I’m my own effing boss… So why not just chill and do what you can / want to do?

I definitely need to find a way to fix it…

Training

Training has really not worked for me in the last year. I’m always at training feeling harassed and under a time pressure. Instead of focusing on what I’m doing, I’m wondering what time it is and how late I am for the next thing… And wishing my rests were 4 minutes instead of the prescribed 7min. So that I can get away in time!

I want to get back into control of training and making it work for me. 2 hour long sessions don’t work. So ditch them.

I’ve already started doing this as I’ve ditched my former training plan. And am now doing my own thing. With it comes doubt, of course. Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing enough? What if it doesn’t work? What if my competitors get ahead of me?

But the reality is that my previous plan wasn’t working. And I’d miss as many sessions as I completed. So honestly, I’ve got nothing to lose.

So, what next?

I’m feeling pretty down in the dumps right now tbh. (Can you tell?)

Especially as the sessions opens this weekend and I’ve done exactly one technical session this year.

Normally, I’d end a blog post with a list of positives. Some great takesaways. Or actions.

But today, I won’t. Because quite frankly, I don’t feel like it.

Maybe I’ll do a part 2 tomorrow, when I’m less grumpy

So for now. It’s the end..