Today we’re going to venture into the psychology of Happiness. It’s an area I’m really interested in…
Reason: Happiness is associated with better physical and mental health, including lower stress levels, improved immunity, and increased resilience.
If you’re happy, you’re more likely to be able to stick to hard things like eating well and training hard. If you’re not, you’re more likely to act out by eating crap, drinking more and generally acting like a dickhead.
First though, storytime…
The other day I got roped into hosting a coffee morning at school. I got roped in because no one else was available and I could spare the time. And it was for a good reason.
BUT. As soon as I said OK, I regretted it. Because as you know I’m really shy and introverted.
Lolz…
OK I’m not. But making small talk with people I don’t know is probably one of my more loathed activities. Right up there with going to the hairdressers, which I loathe for precisely the same reason. Small talk.
Anyhoo.
I did it.
And as it was over, I was walking home feeling quite light and bouncy and in a really good mood. I wondered: I’d just spent an hour doing something I thought I didn’t want to do but actually it was OK. It was more than OK. I’d enjoyed myself. And I felt happier after the event than before. And I definitely felt better than I’d expected to feel.
Which reminded me of this study I’d read ages ago on social connection…
We know that close family or friendship can make you less vulnerable to premature death and more likely to survive fatal illnesses like cancer and heart disease.
But it’s not just the close ties that are important. Our interactions with strangers can matter too. Particularly because of their unexpected effect on our happiness.
Nick Epley conducted a fun study with people in public transport.
[Please take a minute to appreciate how long it took me to find this study!]
The experiment goes like this. As you’re about to board a train, you’re asked if you want to be in a study. If you agree, you’re placed into one of 3 groups at random.
- Connection. You have a conversation with a stranger during your journey.
- Solitude. You have to remain in solitude on your journey.
- Control. Do what you normally do.
He gets participants to predict what they think their expected happiness level will be at the end of their journey.
As expected, the Connection group predict that they’ll feel awful and weird with a sizeable drop predicted in their happiness. The Solitude and Control groups predict that they will feel OK, with a moderate increase in their happiness.
Participants get to rate their actual happiness at the end of the journey.
The experiment shows happiness levels change in completely opposite directions to their predictions!
The people who form a social connection, even though they predicted that they would hate it, actually report that they felt happier after the experiment.
Same outcome as me and my dreaded coffee morning.
Those in the solitude group report a significant drop in their happiness, even though they predicted an increase.
Moral of the story…
1) Social interactions with strangers can significantly change your happiness. And it’s really easy to do. You just have to override your brain’s awkwardness!
2) We are not very good at predicting what will make us happy. We think a new job, more money or a new kitchen will make us happy. But they don’t. At least not for very long at all. We think talking to strangers will make us feel uncomfortable but it does the exact opposite.
I find this inability to predict our own happiness really fascinating. Because happiness is excellent predictor of health and success, whatever the definition of success.
I think I’ll write more about it soon…
